Faiza - Me and my Memories of You!

Today was a strange day. I did something that I never wanted to, i had promised myself that I would never walk that hurtful road again, but yes I did it, n now im hurting! I am such a weak-willed person. Why do i have to carry my heart on my sleeve! I think its obsivous to the other person and hence makes me more vulnerable and easier to get used. Although I may never manage to convey these things or I would really not care if the person knows about this, but nevertheless i only can feel this hurt this self-despise now. I had decided that this story has to end and i would never turn the pages of this book, and i pretty much was sucessful in doing so until today. well now again i decide to stop this thing i might have started. God alone can help me.

Why are we covered with so many masks on our own faces, why do we hide behind so many walls, what is it that we fear? Why do we do things that we would regret later or why would we not do things that we may regret NOT doing later? Like tell a loved one that we love them, why we let a person share a bed with us, but we cannot share our feelings with them? What is it, is it the fear of getting turned down, is it the fear of being betrayed, or is it the fear of betraying them......whatever it is, it ends up getting us farther away from our loved ones rather than bringing them closer.....ofcourse not if that is exactly what we are looking for!