Faiza - Me and my Memories of You!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sleep or Death!
Was under an operation last Friday, been like dead for two days following that….and now I feel as if I’m back from the dead! What it felt like? Well, I felt pain during the operation, since the anesthesia didn’t work well on me as usual….then after being injected with painkillers n sedatives..Blissful sleep….but not a dreamless one! I dreamt of many things, some that happened in the far past, most from recent past…and some I don’t remember happening, maybe they are gonna happen or are just empty fabrications of my sleepy and idle mind….
Even sedated dreams are haunting; these dreams have made me disturbed and sad. More so because the dreams consisted of recent events that have happened in my life and I was able to see everything as if on a video tape..happening to a third person who is so much like me.
Although’ I know that these things would take their own sweet time to pass and I have to go thru’ the time-test and the pain-tests before I can fully recover from the trauma…..but this phase does hurt much and I have no idea how to handle it, one thing for sure, these haunting dreams aren’t helping much….
Like about 10 days back I saw you with all your finger tips black n blue, when I asked you, you said its coz of the guitar you are learning to play, I asked which guitar needs all ten fingers to play, n we both were silent….!! I dunno what it represents or is utter bullshit, but these dreams aren’t helping!
And now I am about to do something I would never have done if I wouldn’t have been thru this almost-dead experience. May God help me!
